"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." ~ Carl Gustav Jung
It’s such a euphoric feeling when we first fall in love with that special someone. We think constantly about our lover. Hormones amp up and we often overlook the shortcomings of our partner. We can become obsessed with reoccurring thoughts about our new found love, focused on the wonderful feelings surging through our body, the sex, or on the other side of the coin, the thoughts and fear of losing that love. Then there are the mating rituals - the repeated checking of our phone, primping of hair, makeup, and clothes. Sound familiar? You’re not alone!
Incidentally, Dr. Donetella Marazziti at the University of Pisa who studies the biology of love and attachment has found that serotonin blood levels in newly, star-crossed couples is similar to the levels of those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Serotonin affects our mood, level of anxiety, and happiness. Now to be clear here, I am not suggesting that when we feel this way while in the throes of romantic love that we have OCD, just making a point of how out of control we may feel with all of the automatic chemical processes taking place in our bodies that we are not always aware of.
This research presents a good example of why it can be so difficult to change our patterns of how we keep “falling” in love, in ways that don't serve us or others. You're probably familiar with the songs, Oops!...I Did It again and Addicted to Love. You're not alone!
Nathaniel Branden said, “The first step to change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”
Self-awareness requires that we recognize what we’re doing while we’re doing it, along with a sense of why we're doing it. Acceptance is seeing things as they are. However, keep in mind these are only steps one and two. There are many more steps along the way! You know, one step at a time.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “What you see is what you get,” which relates to those things outside of us, but instead I invite you to think of it in a different way. I propose you consider it in terms of how you see yourself, your personal perception. Because the perception we have of ourselves is how the world also sees us, and our behaviors and actions are generally a result of our beliefs. With this in mind, then, once we take those first two steps of change, we are better able to see our responsibility for the relationships we get into. We can become more aware and awake to love.
As an example of becoming more aware, my birth chart expresses that I came into the world needing to be in relationship, and even more so, to deeply understand them. I recognize that I am all for love! Yet, at the same time that love for others can pose a problem for me. I can get lost in the giving of myself for the love of the relationship, which usually leads to me being frustrated with the "other". I wasn't always able to see this, and with awareness it is something I continue to work with. Did I mention the cycles of life give us lots of chances to get things right? You are not alone!
Although Libra is known for its interest in relationships, romantic, business, or otherwise, it is Venus who initiates how we view love. Each of us has different placements of the planets in the signs which give us clues to how we look at love. A strong Aries individual may be more demanding of love, a strong Taurus requires physical contact, and those with predominant Cancer have a need for comfort and emotional security at home. To clarify, I'm not speaking specifically of Sun signs here but of sign planetary influences.
The beauty of astrology is that we can see things more clearly and objectively through our charts, and as a result gain understanding to how we prefer to receive love so we can give it more freely. So this month when Valentine’s Day comes around, whether you are in a significant relationship, or not, remember the relationship with yourself. Because how you see yourself is how the rest of the world responds.
Here’s to love...Love You!
© Cathi Curen 2017