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The Nature of Relationships

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

We learn about relationships from a young age, however not always in a positive way. We learn how to get attention, feel valued, and loved. Our vocabularies continue to expand, but our communication skills are often hindered out of misunderstanding. To complicate matters, each astrological sign brings with it positive and negative attributes. Our similarities draw us together, however, when another's unique traits show up we often encourage conformity to authenticity.

There will always be duality, so the more supportive relational choice is to accept that we are all unique beings and have open conversations around understanding what that means in our relationships. Yes, I know this takes two...another duality!

This balance of similar and different has prompted my interest in positive psychology, and applies to how I also view astrology. That is, to join in the journey with individuals from a growth and positive development perspective versus a pathological oriented perspective of what’s “wrong” with us. In its most important function this belief is instrumental to our parenting. To understand that we all come into the world with our own unique human nature - that our actions proceed from our character and that character comes in two forms, what we perceive as good and bad.

From an astrological perspective this follows suit with the mythological energy of each sign. When I work with couples on their relationship, this usually comes up when they are recognizing the bad side of each other. This “badness” of character can make such an impression that it becomes all that we see, so much that we may swear we will never get involved with “that sign” again! Until we encounter the same through family and children, our most challenging and heavenly earth lessons.

My goal today is to invite you to envision others from a broader lens, and recognize that we are all acting naturally, and although possibly yet unseen, we all have positive traits dwelling within - mixed with the so called bad. We wouldn’t expect a lion (Leo), fish (Pisces), or ram (Aries) to be anything different than their true nature. Therefore, let’s reconsider how we look at those with whom we live with and love.

My experience has been that when we have any angst around one or any of the astrological signs, it’s because of the behaviors we consider to be disruptive to our relationships. I get this, and actually wrote about it in another post. However, in the purpose of nurturing natural gifts, especially with our little ones and lovers, we want to encourage the positive traits and support them (and us), in the management of the other.

Each of the zodiac signs along with the planets in them, represent the growth process of human development and the stages of life. Coincidentally, the word zodiac comes from the Greek word zodiakos, which means “circle of little animals”. Fitting I think, as we guide and nurture our natural natures into more civilized ways of being. All of the named signs, except Libra are living creatures and have their own natural motivations. I find that the most growth producing factor of astrology is in the integration of all of the signs within our psyche to gain acceptance of ourselves, resulting in more tolerance toward others...this of course can be a lifetime feat!

As we explore each of these energies, keep in mind that there are times when those disliked behaviors may actually be useful in certain situations and can be especially noticeable to us when the universe is giving us an opportunity to incorporate them into our own ongoing development. Without endurance of the lessons each sign provides, it is understandable how these positive attributes can get in the way. And with a little imagination, how they may be construed as negative or bad.

When we speak of the Sun being in the signs we are discussing the astrological aspirations of what one’s will and highest expression are for their lifetime. There of course is so much more to us, but I feel this suffices in making my point.

Here is a very brief sampling of each Sun sign, their key phrase, and motivations:

The Aries key phrase is “I am here!” Aries enters the world with the need to lead and be first. They are motivated to bravely meet all challenges head on.

The Taurus key phrase is, “I have.” Taurus energy is motivated by the self wanting to do something. They like stability, are conscious of security, and are the sensual beings.

The Gemini key phrase is, “I think.” These are versatile, logical, social beings who want to learn all that they can and then make connections to the use of information.

The Cancer key phrase is, “I feel.” Cancer wants to nurture, feels deeply, and is sensitive to the needs of others. They are imaginative and intuitive.

The Leo key phrase is, “I create.” Leo is open and warm-hearted, with their most purposeful creation to be the expression of the Self.

The Virgo key phrase is, “I analyze.” Virgo is the humble, service driven perfectionist who supports order in the world.

The Libra key phrase is, “I balance.” Libra has a natural need to see all sides of an issue in order to treat others fairly and gracefully with sensitivity.

The Scorpio key phrase is, “I desire.” These are the passionate, probing individuals who will go to the extreme of tearing things down to the ground to rebuild something more meaningful and new.

The Sagittarius key phrase is, “I understand.” Sagittarius is the great optimist. They love adventure and affirm life positively as they work towards an ideal goal.

The Capricorn key phrase is, “I use.” Responsible, serious, disciplined. Capricorn will do what is necessary to achieve a practical and useful result.

The Aquarius key phrase is, “I know.” Unconventional and humanitarian, the Aquarian wants to cross all boundaries to experience the new and unusual.

The Pisces key phrase is, “I believe.” Pisces are the compassionate ones who want to experience the oneness of all things.

Can you imagine how differently we all see the world based on our motivations? How frustrated one might become when they are not reaching them? How much more fulfilling our lives can be by living more naturally?

My love for astrology links to the self-understanding we gain as a result of working with it. If we can accept ourselves for who we are, it will be so much easier to do the same for others. Isn’t that what we all really want?

© 2017 Cathi Curen

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